Diante da acirrada disputa no mercado de trabalho, experiências no exterior como um intercâmbio passaram a ser por demais valorizadas pelos RHs da vida. Claro que quem tem bala na agulha vai fazer intercâmbio na Nova Zelândia, Alemanha, Inglaterra... Eu estou indo pros Estados Unidos, o estino escolhido por quem determinou o programa e criou o concurso de bolsas.
- Estados Unidos é intercâmbio de pobre.- Mas pobre não faz intercâmbio!- Faz sim, se tiver ganhado uma bolsa como eu!
Por isso, estou deixando família, amigos, faculdade, estágio pelo período máximo de 1 ano. Vou fazer parte de outra família. Estou partindo rumo à terra do Bush, do McDonalds, do country e de Hollywood. Não quero fazer a América nem deixar ela me fazer. Quero iluminação, amadurecimento, cultura, histórias pra contar, um melhor currículo, um punhado de dólares e eletrônicos mais em conta! Nessa ordem.
Mas não se preocupem. Nas palavras de Jesus e Schwarzenneger: Eu voltarei!
De Bonsucesso para o mundo:
Natalia Weber tem 21 anos e é estudante de jornalismo da UFF (RJ). Parece uma americana, mas é brasileiríssima. É suburbana com orgulho e está prestes a adentrar nos Estados Unidos. Ela nunca viajou de avião, nunca arrumou uma mala tão grande, detesta McDonalds. Vai ser Au Pair numa família muito boa e com (graças a Deus!) uma criança. Uma criança linda, fofa e maravilhosa. Espera ter bastante tempo pra estudar e espera encontrar bons cursos pra fazer e complementar seu currículo. Espera também aprender a dirigir bem rápido pra se mover lá. Espera conhecer Nova York. Por livre e espontânea pressão, tem a possibilidade de visitar a Disney, mas se não conseguir se livrar dessa, promete enviar uma foto esganando o Mickey! Ela está com muitas saudades dos pais e amigos, por isso espera que eles venham sempre aqui.
I'm feeling melancholic as always. But now more than ever...
At least I feel like all my senses are sharpened. As if I could feel everything, hear everything, see everything, read minds. As if I could stop time, as if I could be touched my things around me, a if music could go through me... and give me pain and joy in high levels.
And I want to write a screenplay so bad.
Another night, the same things. It's such a waste.
I'm glad to inform all of you that, for the first time in my life, I felt the cold of 0º celsius! A phone call wakes me up at 7 am. It's Greg, telling me that it was cold outside, and there was going to be ice on the windows of my car.
WHAT??? Cool (indeed!).
I went downstairs with Thaissa and let Mason free. I looked at the thermometer and I could believe it. Finally, ZERO!
I opened the deck door, warned Thaissa that if something happened, she should call 911. And then Mason and I got out there. I jumped around screamming "ZERO, ZEEEEROOO" (7 in the morning, ok?). Mason jumped too, no reason to it, he just jumps all the time.
It's not that cold, completely bareable, very very nice.
The suns is still shinning, and the sun here is really strong. So it never THAT cold anyway. I'm still hot sometimes...
I had promised long ago to take Daiana to IKEA. See, she lived in Sweden for a couple of months 3 years ago, and I thought it would be interesting to take her to eat those swedish meatbals and such.
Lazy Saturday, nothing to do. Let's go!
First stop, the middle of Ryan Road, to take pictures of the trees going "Fall".
Tourists in Ashburn? That's so au pair... whatashame!
Daiana totally freaked out when she saw the meatballs, the unpeeled potatoes, the LINGONBERRIES! She was so happy!!! I was happy for her too...
happy unbirthday, Daiana.
All he swedish goodies where there: chocolates, cookies... sweet!
Plus, we got to walk around and checkout all the beautiful things there, imagining what we would buy for our houses... oh, just dreaming. Anyway, things there are good, beautiful and cheap. And of course, we got to embarrase ourselves like we always do.
It's just feels so good...
End of the afternoon, a quick stop at Starbucks. Daiana asked me to change my coffee request, 'cause, you know, the circunstances... I changed, it wasn't so good. Anyway, it was good just to sit there and relax, and they were playing brazilian music (how random is that??). Real brazilian music. Caetano Veloso! You can't get that even in Brazil.
I guess that fall is here now, finally! It's been raining for 2 days straight, and I love it, if only my car stopped dreaming he's ice-skating, things would be perfect!
Rainy, grey day, it can only ask for something: brigadeiro!
And I got poor Lindsay hooked! Yeah!!
By the way, chocolate is one of my best friends here! Endorphins, yeaaaah!!!!
Before I start, here's the quote of the day, from my IR book:
"Intelligence is worthless if you don't believe it".
Seriously, guys... Should I say it again? Sometimes I think I'm studying psychology and behavior etc. And the book is full of quotes like that, you guys missed my phase "Slippery stuff, this national interest". Just change the word "national" for... people, got it?
Anyway, I might be getting really into it, because I just got my second A and I almost got the whole freakin' exam all right. Shocking!
Sometimes I think... I'm so over being a nerd. It's probably a sin to think that, but... what is it for? 'Cause perfect grades doesn't matter if you don't have the right attitude, personality, experience...
"I lay awake night and ponder world troubles. My answer is always the same. That unless men put an end to all of this, Hate will put the world in a flame, what a shame. Just because I'm in misery. I'm not begging for no sympathy. But if it's not asking too much, Just send me someone to love."
"Deficiente" é aquele que não consegue modificar sua vida, aceitando as imposições de outras pessoas ou da sociedade em que vive, sem ter consciência de que é dono do seu destino. "Louco" é quem não procura ser feliz com o que possui. "Cego" é aquele que não vê seu próximo morrer de frio, de fome, de miséria. E só tem olhos para seus míseros problemas e pequenas dores. "Surdo" é aquele que não tem tempo de ouvir um desabafo de um amigo, ou o apelo de um irmão. Pois está sempre apressado para o trabalho e quer garantir seus tostões no fim do mês. "Mudo" é aquele que não consegue falar o que sente e se esconde por trás da máscara da hipocrisia. "Paralítico" é quem não consegue andar na direção daqueles que precisam de sua ajuda. "Diabético" é quem não consegue ser doce. "Anão" é quem não sabe deixar o amor crescer. E, finalmente, a pior das deficiências é ser miserável, pois " Miseráveis" são todos que não conseguem falar com Deus.
Mario Quintana
And adding to that, some excerptions from an e-mail Daiana sent me:
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunrise and knowing who to thank. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have."
I know nobody's perfect and everything, but I always think some people are more perfect than others...
But these days I've been kinda thinking that the most important thing is not being perfect, but being... right!
------------------- I've been dreaming about going home. And it feels weird... but it's not that I don't want to go back, it's nt that I don't miss home... I think it's just a way of representing something I already know.. that it will be hard to go back to my old life, since the life here is oh so diferent. I don't want to make judgments and say it's better or worse, but I can surely say it's different!
I've been here for more than 6 months, and I'm closer to getting home than before, now I'm over the middle.
:-/
And I'll miss the skies here, it's so beautiful...
Tropa de Elite ta chic, bem!!! Saiu no UOSTON POSTE!
I'm so proud!!! I couldn't control myself when I read it this morning, it just feels so great!! Only if you're CARIOCA like me, you'll understand... fantastic!!!
Don't know how much publicity like that costs, but put on the Pope's account, right?
My comments are in red.
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Celluloid Tale of Rio's Drug War, Told From Police Perspective, Is the Talk of Brazil
By Monte Reel
Washington Post Foreign Service
Monday, October 22, 2007; Page A17
RIO DE JANEIRO -- After taking a phone call last week, director José Padilha stepped onto the patio of his studio and told a business partner that the intense discussion provoked by his latest film had spread to yet another sphere of Brazilian society.
The film, called "Elite Squad," centers on the police officers who wage war against the drug-dealing gangs that rule Rio's slums, called favelas. The movie has put almost everyone -- from the slums, to the penthouses, to the halls of government -- in the mood to talk about this city's violence.
Even before it was released in theaters this month, "Elite Squad" was Brazil's most-watched movie of the season: The country's leading polling firm estimated that about 11.5 million adults -- as well as an unknown number of children -- had seen the movie on pirated DVDs before its first screenings.
Police initially tried to keep the movie out of theaters, fearing that scenes depicting officers torturing slum dwellers portray their ranks in a bad light (look at thaaaaat! Guess Fernanda's conspiracy theory is helf-proved). Critics of the police argued that the movie was too sympathetic to corrupt officers, because it presents the action from their point of view. Some nongovernmental organizations objected to the film's suggestion that some activists have aligned themselves with the drug gangs to get access to the favelas (Nooooo... REALLY???).
To Padilha, rather than being controversial, such suggestions should ring true to anyone who has spent any time in a city with one of the world's highest murder rates.
For decades, most of Rio's 600-plus favelas have been ruled by drug-dealing gangs. The police, both military and civil, have waged war on those groups, and they are often criticized for being as brutal -- if not more so -- than the gangs. Shootouts are common, and favela residents are often caught in the crossfire (Correct!).
On Wednesday, for example, a dozen people -- including a 4-year-old boy -- were killed during a battle between police and gang members in Rio. Local television showed images of residents running in fear as police helicopters circled overhead -- images that people here have been living with for years.
"None of this is rocket science," said Padilha, 40. "These are very simple concepts, and they are all here for everyone to see. Just look around. It's obvious. But just by stating it in a way that shows a little bit of everything in there, it is making this movie an object of social discussion." (See, girls? Ignore how Wagner Moura looks good in black!)
Padilha said his intention was to show the drug war from the perspective of a cop and to let the audience judge whether the cop is good, bad or both. For those with firm opinions about Rio's violence, the movie's refusal to impose its own moral is offensive.
Arnaldo Bloch, a columnist for Rio's largest newspaper, O Globo, wrote that showing the unvarnished point of view of a member of the military police special favela units was the equivalent of apologizing for their actions. He labeled the movie "fascist." (Oh, C'mooon!! Everybody loves Cap. Nascimento. He's Jack Bauer + Chuck Norris! :-p)
The record turnout at theaters -- even though many viewers had already seen the movie at home on DVD -- indicates that a lot of people disagree. Enterprising street dealers have tried to latch on to the movie's success by throwing together footage of police operations and selling DVDs they claim to be sequels.
"I think it's a great movie, and it just shows things that really happen," said Cesar de Assis, 35, a resident of a favela called Chapeu Mangueira. "I've seen the police come into the community, and it happens exactly the way the movie shows."
Miguel Colker, 20, is a student at the Catholic University of Rio, the setting for a couple of scenes in the film. He viewed a pirated copy of "Elite Squad," and its effect on him, he said, has been sobering, literally.
"I haven't smoked pot since I saw the movie," said Colker, who described himself as an occasional user of drugs. "I always knew that of course the drugs here are controlled by the gangs, but seeing it in the movie shocked me a little." (REAAAAAAALLY???? A little? Playboy...)
Padilha is a Rio native whose previous film, a documentary called "Bus 174," told the life story of a man who hijacked a city bus, then was killed by the military police. "Elite Squad" was conceived as a companion piece to that film, showing the "other side of the same coin," Padilha said.
He started by trying to tell the story in documentary form. But he quickly realized that police officers wouldn't talk openly about their experiences, he said, so he interviewed about 20 officers and turned their off-the-record stories into fiction. Earlier this month, police officials ordered him to identify the officers who had helped him. Padilha did not appear for questioning after Rio's governor took his side, telling him not to be afraid to defy the police.
The film is fast-paced and hard around the edges, depicting violence unblinkingly. The aesthetic is intended to overwhelm the viewer, Padilha said, not allowing time to make analytical judgments until the film is over. He compares it to downloading a computer program that threatens to crash the system.
"It's creating a chaos of confusion, and that chaos is very interesting from my point of view," Padilha said. "I'm not involved in it now. I'm just sitting back and watching."
(Yeah, well, if everybody sits back and watch it like that, nothing's gonna change, right? If you get just a little shocked or if you think that the best thing of the movie is Wagner Moura looking good&nasty it doesn't help either...)
Well, it's already been proved that Mariana is indie, you know... just look at her. Mostly because she gives away everything, even when she wants to accuse me! Like, calling me indie because I have MySpace now, but she once had one and left... why? Because it became mainstream, that's why!!! And that's so indie!!
Seriously...
And today my teacher says she can't understand why sometimes, in History, some of the great leaders of the world choke before a major situation, a crises, and spend a long time to get up and take action, paralized by the circustances.
C'mon, I just said a couple of posts ago that in the end, relations among nations is just like human relations, and choking when facing a crisis or an unexpect challange is something I can tottaly relate to...
The Way I See It (Starbucks style) of the day: Sometimes life shows so much irony, and that's one of the things I love about it.
This is probably very old news, but I've only seen it today, and it's so freaking retarded it's funny!!
Remember kids, don't ever go to Candy Moun'ain!!!
Oh, and this is something I came across surfing on YouTube. I actually used to watch this series, tough it was never my favorite... anyway, here's Sally finding out that guys sometimes don't call (and my last experience with that was so sooo funny I already shared with the world). Let's all laugh about it: here.
Half-anniversary! On the 15th, it was 6 months since I left Brazil. On the 16th, 6 months I arrived, went to a Starbucks and visited Macy's. On the 19th, it has been six months since Thaissa is the most precious thing in my life. And by far the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on...
04/19/07
10/18/07
And I think time is going to fast. I miss home and everything... but it's not a secret I'd like to have more time to savour those american days...
This is for her:
"Baby slow down The end is not as fun as the start Please stay a child somewhere in your heart
I'll give you everything you want Except the thing that you want You are the first one of your kind
And you feel like no-one before You steal right under my door And I kneel 'cause I want you some more I want the lot of what you got And I want nothing that you're not
Everywhere you go you shout it You don't have to be shy about it..."
I feel so great now it's over! The test is gone, Vietnam is once again back at history and not almost a reality to me!
Of course, now we gotta wait for the grade! It was a strange test, man. Suprised everyone, I'm sure! And what's up with the guy who walked outta there 20 minutes after the start? Could he do in 20 minutes everything I struggled to do in almost 2 hours? Seriously, I always feel like I need more time. That's what you get when you decide to get cocky and skip basic-dumb-stupid ESL classes to go for the real deal. Now I gotta do it right, Mrs. Jill is probably grading me right now on that!
And I was tense, and when it was done, I was drained. I drank nearly 3 bottles full of water and wandered around to calm myself.
So I was thinking how a lot of things I learn about Internaional Relations look like human relations. I had realized that before, but never as that powerful insight I had right after the test, in which I tried my best to describe what went wrong in Vietnam and yatta yatta...
It's all about the WILL to do it. Not what you can, what it's available to do, what you should do... it's what you OUGHT to, what you are motivated to do, if you have the WILL. Hellooo.. first class! I learned that, but now it realy feels real! The will, or the lack of it, just that. In the words I wrote in the test: "if you don't have the will to do what it takes to win [the war], it was better to have pulled out before." Or never get in! Without the will, things won't be done right! You won't do it, 'cause you don't want to!
Got it? Got it, people? Got it? whoaa... that's it. Gimme an A++! Please!!!!
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I found the cuttest french song surfing on You Tube! Feels like singing along to the top of my lungs: "Oaaaaaaaahhh ooouiii!!!!!!!!! Je suis jaloooouse! Oui c'est ça tout simplement jaloooouse... Je suis jaloooouse":
Last week was pretty unusual. I'm so used to a dull life that when half a thing happens, I lose it.
So I kinda lost it. And wasn't good - maybe a little. I make mine the word in the beatiful "Stay", by U2: "Because when he hurts you, you feel alive."
By he please understand... life! Take the "he" put an "it", ok?
So it was too much deal with work, studies, planning a trip and my wandering mind (I could give details of how hard it was to concentrate but... better not). I just could not concentrate for a couple of days. Funny how that happens... made me feel like I learned nothing from my experiences to just... get it together! Sometimes I can't stand myself!
Against the odds (lotta odds!!! oh, what a mess it was), I traveled to Vermont. It was strange but ended up being a good idea... to just get away and get the mind back in track, please your eyes and taste buds with new things, feel cold...
It was calm and cute and peaceful. Plus, going through the streets os New York at dawn remind me of Rio... the dirty sidewalks, the street shops, the apartment buildings... felt like home.
And I studied! I swear! I could finally concentrate and brinksmaship the way I like it! Till 3 in the morning... this never felt so great! Even studied during the hours we spent waiting for the next bus in New York, sitting in the dirty floor with strange people all around! hehe...
* now, depending on the situation, I kinda can drink coffee... like in Vermont, you know? it was cold, and it was latte! Or the other day, when I was really, really... haan, thirsty...
I'm still wandering right now why I'm building this MySpace thing if I'll probabky run outta time and/or patience to keep going. Guess it's 'cause I didn't have to study, or work, or do something that could really help the world somehow... well, here I am!
But I think it is just a way so I can communicate with the people I love, and that are really interested in knowing what's up with me (everybody improving their english together alright? I write, you read!), so I mean, one or two people, right? I just wanted a medium so I could share pics, videos, feelings, quotes, and, to top ot all, music!!
Since I spent 6 months to figure out how to do it (I confess, I felt a little bit bised against MySpace. It seemed so... confusing! Still does), much of what I wanted to share was lost. Or not! So... if you're really interested, you can go visit my Favorite YouTube videos (http://www.youtube.com/profile_favorites?user=wdazzle) and catch up with the good stuff!
There you can find the soundtrack I've been colecting during those 6 months and had a great part in the whole thing. Seriously, when I come back and listen to those songs, I'll probably faint or something...
Da list: -"Valerie", Mark Ronson -"Oh my God", Mark Ronson -"Stop me", Mark Ronson -"Don't you evah", Spoon -"Do you realize??", The Flaming Lips -"Shut your eyes", Snow Patrol -"Love hurts", Incubus -"Dig", Incubus -"No such thing", John Mayer -"Satellite", Guster -"Hard Sun", Eddie Vedder -"Steady as she goes", The Raconteurs -"There's a light that never goes out", The Smiths -"For Martha", Smashing Pumpkins -"Eletronic Performers", Air -"Cherry Blossom girl", Air -"Once upon a time", Air -"Mer du Japon", Air -"Satelite of love", Lou Reed -"Maybe Tomorrow", Stereophonics -"We both go down together", The Decemberists -"Funny little frog", Belle & Sebastian -"Love will come through", Travis -"My moon, my man", Feist -"1,2,3,4", Feist -"We are going to be friends", White Stripes -"Can I get get get", Junior Senior -"Boy meets girl", Junior Senior -"Stop me if you thing that you heard this one before", The Smiths -"Fashion", David Bowie -"Your love alone is not enough", Manic Street Preachers -"Bob", Weird Al' Yankovic, add here "White and Nerdy" -"New Killer Star", David Bowie -"Ashes to ashes", David Bowie -"Wild is the wind", David Bowie -"The build up", Kings of Convenience -"Failure", Kings of Convenience -"Toxic girl", Kings of Convenience -"I'd rather dance with you", Kings of Convenience -"The Irish keep gatecrashing", The Thrills -"The sweet escape", Gwen Stefani
I caught myself thinking about a Bob Marley song that goes like this:
One good thing about music, when it hits you fell no pain So hit me with music, hit me with music now
It's awesome... thing is, I can't agree...
Music can make totally me feel pain. however, I still want to be hit.
today I heard a song that remind me of home (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUdBmXeqt6Q). Of riding on the bus in the middle of the bridge, watching the night coming slowly, going to college, feeling bored... I felt pain. I missed that tiny frame in time lost in the past, but at the same time, I felt so scared, so scared of the pain I'll feel when I leave, when I leave the most precious thing for me, the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on...
She's the only thing that keeps me sane. How she always knows when I need to be hugged, I'll never know...
--- I've been feeling something new that's actually kinda old, deja vu style... Something old, something new, something blue. And of course realy weird. And everyday I try to convice myself to ignore it, but if I have to try to convince myself of it everyday, it clearly means I'm failing...
Seriously... If it is... how come it took me a long long time to find out?
Six months later, and I kinda can make this work. So many things happened! I hope there's more to come.
Right now, I'm waiting for the fall. It used to feel right to rely on nature, 'cause people... well, some you just can't rely on. We insist in not being rational, we suffer, we forget, we get distracted, we hurt, we fall in love, we get mad... But at least you can count on the fact that tomorrow it's another day, and hours will go by, and the sun will shine eventually. And seasons will change. Eventually...
Well, it stil feels like summer! And soon it will be November! What the heck?
And for once in everybody's life Rio had a cold winter (for Rio's standards). And I was here, frying...
And nooww... I hear the winter here will be warm and dry. Seriously, I shed a tear.
Bad luck, han?
p.s.: I wish this (below) was all happening around here: